Road Trip Intro

Now that we have been on the road for a week it has been deemed necessary by the touring party to introduce the key member of the touring party – both human and non-human.

The first and undoubtedly most important member of the trip is the Chevy Trailblazer. There was a brief discussion about giving it a name but it was ultimately decided that its stature transcends gender and that simply “TRAILBLAZER” was more than enough of a name.



The second most important member of the touring party is Emily – our British-accented GPS unit. Though she sometimes struggles a bit on the freeway and had some fairly major troubles pronouncing Yosemite National Park (she seemed to think that Yosemite rhymes with vegemite), she has successfully navigated California and promises to be invaluable as we blaze a trail across the US of A.

The third member of the touring party that needs introduction is gentleman Johnny, our Koala mascot who is clinging bravely to the antenna. Though his forward facing side has been taking an absolute battering in the smog, fog and haze (and undoubtedly even more so when we get into snow), he continues to doff his hat to all from his perch on the antenna and we hope that he can cling on all the way to New York.

Now turning to the human members of the touring party, we will proceed in age order:

Name: Dr Nicholas Ivor Wonders BVSc BI MS (Guinness World Record Holder)

Age: 37
Traits: Belying his status as the elder statesman of the touring party, the Wonderboy has been by far the most enthusiastic member of the touring party thus far. This may be in part due to his morning diet of a Berocca and a Panadol, which seems to get each day off to a flying start. The social butterfly that he is, he has been going up and randomly introducing himself to everybody he can find, from Motel 6 employees , to random people at hostels, to random tourists on Alcatraz Island.

Name: Carl James McIntosh
Age: 24
Traits: Mac can be identified by a number of fairly obvious indicators. Firstly, his patented dancing style which has become known as the shoulder roll; secondly, his physical likeness to Vanilla Ice; thirdly, the fact that he is always hungry and lastly, his wardrobe which consists of three items of clothing – 2 grey hoodies and 1 pair of jeans (which he somehow manages to squeeze into the world’s largest suitcase – the man is an engineering genius). He is so averse to wearing any other items of clothing that he is prone to throw them on the ground in fits of rage. Despite these occasional outbursts, Marvin McIntosh is definitely the voice of reason on the tour and can be depended on to be concerned about the well-being of the other members of the touring party if and when they need it, and occasionally when they don’t.

Name: Jeremy Philip Atkin
Age: 23
Traits: What can we say about this man, he has become unaffectionately known as ‘The Metabolic Man”. He is a stickler for the rules and relishes enforcing them. Every day he wakes up with the knowledge that he is the crudest Australian within spitting distance. Jez’s two greatest passions in life are Jez FM DJing and Sports. Both of which he can pursue endlessly on the road

There will of course be a number of others who will be making guest appearances on the roadtrip including James “The Chump” Glenday, Nick “Buzz-Monkey” Cleland, Simon “Dr Phil” Monteath and David “The Wizard” Prentice.

Name: James Robert Glenday
Age: 22
Traits: The foremost trait of the chump is vanity. The man takes half an hour to shower and considers a full length mirror a travelling necessity. He has been our guide around California for much of the first week, having been here for the past few months on exchange. He knew San Francisco top to bottom and was an ideal host and tour guide. He has been playing up his Australian accent for all that it is worth and has made a lot of friends in his time in the country which he was more than happy to introduce us to. It’s a shame that he could not continue on to Vegas with us, but with a weekend at Lake Tahoe with all of the other exchange students already planned it’s hard to blame him!

Rules and Regulations:
There are only three real rules which are being enforced on the roadtrip. The first is that under no circumstances can the word M-I-N-E be said. The second, is that as ambassadors of all things Australian, and aware that a certain member of the touring party may have caused some offence early in the trip with his language, a swear jar has been implemented – with a 25c punishment issued for every indiscretion. The third rule is that if something is suggested and the phrase “it would be rude not to” is uttered, then it must be done.