Despite once again foregoing our previous night’s promises to one another of going running (I was not too devastated as I seem to have lost my runners), we woke relatively early (for us), and were checked out by 9:30. We proceeded to cruise around downtown Savannah, stopping at a local café to eat a proper breakfast for the first time in a long time. Cleland was the most adventurous opting for the eggs Benedict with grits (which appeared to be some sort of wheat porridge), while the rest of us settled for the continental.
Following this and after a quick stop at the Visitors’ Centre, we embarked on a walking tour around Savannah. It was not hard to see the remnants of the plantation wealth that once flowed through Savannah with huge mansions lining shady, tree-lined streets and numerous squares and parks, all of which seemed to have statues and fountains. It was completely different to any other place we had been so far and it was not hard to imagine how things might have been in the pre-Civil War years. One sight that we were particularly keen to see was the park bench that Tom Hanks sits on throughout the movie Forrest Gump. Despite knowing which square the bench was in, debate raged amongst the boys as to which bench was actually used in the movie. Given none of us had any real idea, this was a largely futile argument and after taking photos of every bench in the park we were soon ready to move on to get lunch.
After a bit of wild-goose chase around the city (it should come as no real surprise to our loyal readers that Mac was on decree duties), we eventually found some BBQ in an alley and had some delicious, though not exactly nutritious sandwiches. We then pushed on for Charleston, hoping to get there in time to buy groceries and have a look around the town before checking into the hostel.
We managed to get this done, got ourselves checked in and after a couple more games of BB and some delicious salads ala Wonderboy, we decided that it would be rude not to go and see what the Charleston nightlife had to offer. Given that all of the uni students are still on their Christmas break, there was not much doing and after a few quiet beers, a couple of games of pool and buck-hunter and chatting to some of the locals we turned in, hoping to get another early start the following morning.
Hope you’re all well,
Jez
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Fort Lauderdale to Savannah
Fort Lauderdale to Savannah via Disneyworld
Cleland and myself woke unprecedentedly early, excited by the idea of Disneyworld. After only 2 hours sleep, Jez and Carl were led to the car and belted in, where they remained for the next four hours. We made our way north along the Florida coast, stopping only to refuel and buy Burger King breakfast, during which time Carl and Jez remained asleep. We arrived in Orlando, shortly after Blizzard Beach’s opening time at 10 am. After helping Jez and Carl into their bathing suits, we descended upon the park – which is one of six within Disney World, and one of two waterparks.
Real Talk: Disneyworld at Orlando is ridiculously big. Spanning over 20,000 acres it contains 6 individual theme parks, 6 golf courses, over 2 dozen hotels and is purportedly the happiest place on earth.
Cleland’s enthusiasm was infectious and we quickly realised how much of a chore he must have been as a child. Mr and Mrs Cleland clearly deserve the Order of Australia for chaperoning him around Disneyworld for a week at the age of 12.
Once inside we headed straight for Summit Plummet, the tallest free-fall waterslide in the whole of the USA, (and the second tallest in the world by 2 inches). At 120 feet tall you were travelling at close to 55 miles per hour by the time you reached the bottom. The speed record for the slide 78 miles per hour which is well in excess of 120 km/h. Carl, with his irrational fear of heights and rollercoasters did not join us for this first run but was able to be dragged up there after several hours of peer pressure and constant ribbing from his supportive friends.
Only in the knowledge that everyone we knew was on the other side of the world and unlikely to run into us did we revert to children. It was a lot of fun but after four hours it was time to leave – keen to get some more miles under the belt and make it to Savannah that night. We made good progress and stopped just short of Savannah to stay at another classy motel 6. We ended the night with a Caesar salad at “Steamers” across the road and played BB until our customary fights and subsequent need for rule specification had us all in bed for a much needed early night.
Missing you all,
Nick
Cleland and myself woke unprecedentedly early, excited by the idea of Disneyworld. After only 2 hours sleep, Jez and Carl were led to the car and belted in, where they remained for the next four hours. We made our way north along the Florida coast, stopping only to refuel and buy Burger King breakfast, during which time Carl and Jez remained asleep. We arrived in Orlando, shortly after Blizzard Beach’s opening time at 10 am. After helping Jez and Carl into their bathing suits, we descended upon the park – which is one of six within Disney World, and one of two waterparks.
Real Talk: Disneyworld at Orlando is ridiculously big. Spanning over 20,000 acres it contains 6 individual theme parks, 6 golf courses, over 2 dozen hotels and is purportedly the happiest place on earth.
Cleland’s enthusiasm was infectious and we quickly realised how much of a chore he must have been as a child. Mr and Mrs Cleland clearly deserve the Order of Australia for chaperoning him around Disneyworld for a week at the age of 12.
Once inside we headed straight for Summit Plummet, the tallest free-fall waterslide in the whole of the USA, (and the second tallest in the world by 2 inches). At 120 feet tall you were travelling at close to 55 miles per hour by the time you reached the bottom. The speed record for the slide 78 miles per hour which is well in excess of 120 km/h. Carl, with his irrational fear of heights and rollercoasters did not join us for this first run but was able to be dragged up there after several hours of peer pressure and constant ribbing from his supportive friends.
Only in the knowledge that everyone we knew was on the other side of the world and unlikely to run into us did we revert to children. It was a lot of fun but after four hours it was time to leave – keen to get some more miles under the belt and make it to Savannah that night. We made good progress and stopped just short of Savannah to stay at another classy motel 6. We ended the night with a Caesar salad at “Steamers” across the road and played BB until our customary fights and subsequent need for rule specification had us all in bed for a much needed early night.
Missing you all,
Nick
Key West to Fort Lauderdale
Key West to Fort Lauderdale
Rising 45 minutes after what we thought was our checkout time, the day started with a mad rush to pack our bags and get the unmoveable log Preno moving. Even with Preno (Bat) doing his hair and showering, we still managed to leave the room in record time. From here we headed to the sourthernmost point of Key West and the US. We then visited a local beach for a much needed refreshing dip and caught a few rays which will be in short supply as we begin to move north.
Slightly refreshed we then made tracks for the Everglades. We made it to the Everglades National Park by late afternoon and after chatting to a park ranger were directed to two walks, the first of which was on boardwalks around a slough*. Being the dry season, there was an abundance of wildlife to be seen including birds, fish and turtles. Cleland was particularly interested in finding a swamp cougar, but there were none to be seen. The highlight though was seeing a number of ‘gators. Although tasteless, the boys could not resist the occasional Steve Irwin impression with plenty of Crikeys getting thrown around. The second walk was a quick one through a rain forest area which was on slightly higher ground. The light exercise, scenery and fresh air were much appreciated by all considering the excesses of the previous few days.
From here we drove north to Fort Lauderdale so we could drop Prentice at the airport at 4 the following morning. It was at this point that things took an unexpected turn. At around 10 o’clock Jez received a message that friends from New Orleans were now in Miami. With surprising exuberance he proposed a venture back to South Beach for one last night. This proposal was met with mixed reactions. While the two Nicks decided to sleep, Preno and myself thought it would be rude not to join him, especially given it was Preno’s last night.
What followed was free entry into a very loud nightclub, followed by some quiet beers at local bars. Arriving home at 3, Preno was taken straight to the airport having made the most of every minute of his time on the road while Jez and myself tried to get some precious sleep before our 6 o’clock start the following morning.
Cheers
Carl
*Real talk: a slough is formed by a depression in the land below the level of the swamp. Subsequently, in the dry season a large amount of water collects which draws an abundance of marine life.
Rising 45 minutes after what we thought was our checkout time, the day started with a mad rush to pack our bags and get the unmoveable log Preno moving. Even with Preno (Bat) doing his hair and showering, we still managed to leave the room in record time. From here we headed to the sourthernmost point of Key West and the US. We then visited a local beach for a much needed refreshing dip and caught a few rays which will be in short supply as we begin to move north.
Slightly refreshed we then made tracks for the Everglades. We made it to the Everglades National Park by late afternoon and after chatting to a park ranger were directed to two walks, the first of which was on boardwalks around a slough*. Being the dry season, there was an abundance of wildlife to be seen including birds, fish and turtles. Cleland was particularly interested in finding a swamp cougar, but there were none to be seen. The highlight though was seeing a number of ‘gators. Although tasteless, the boys could not resist the occasional Steve Irwin impression with plenty of Crikeys getting thrown around. The second walk was a quick one through a rain forest area which was on slightly higher ground. The light exercise, scenery and fresh air were much appreciated by all considering the excesses of the previous few days.
From here we drove north to Fort Lauderdale so we could drop Prentice at the airport at 4 the following morning. It was at this point that things took an unexpected turn. At around 10 o’clock Jez received a message that friends from New Orleans were now in Miami. With surprising exuberance he proposed a venture back to South Beach for one last night. This proposal was met with mixed reactions. While the two Nicks decided to sleep, Preno and myself thought it would be rude not to join him, especially given it was Preno’s last night.
What followed was free entry into a very loud nightclub, followed by some quiet beers at local bars. Arriving home at 3, Preno was taken straight to the airport having made the most of every minute of his time on the road while Jez and myself tried to get some precious sleep before our 6 o’clock start the following morning.
Cheers
Carl
*Real talk: a slough is formed by a depression in the land below the level of the swamp. Subsequently, in the dry season a large amount of water collects which draws an abundance of marine life.
Miami to Key West
After we finally managed to rouse the slumbering Preno, we said our goodbyes to all of our new friends from the hostel, exchanged facebook details, cleaned up the massive mess that had accumulated in our room and hit the road at about 11 – bound for Key West.
Key West is the southernmost town in the US and can only be reached by driving through Florida Keys – which is basically a sequence of small islands which are linked by bridges. If you’ve seen True Lies or Mission: Impossible 3 then you know the bridges I’m talking about – the ones that are really really long, surrounded by pristine turquoise water and, if Hollywood is to be believed, continually being attacked by Harrier Jets.
With this in mind we were quite looking forward to the drive, despite our sore heads and severe collective sleep deprivation. Unfortunately, though the scenery and the bridges were as spectacular as expected, the traffic was awful and what Emily told us would be a three hour drive took most of the day. However, the drive was redeemed somewhat by the level of conversation which started out relatively dignified with real talk and ended up well below gutter.
Upon arrival in Key West, which is a renowned party town, notorious for its flamboyant gay community, we checked into our motel and went for a wander – in search of some groceries. The two highlights of this were trying some authentic Key Lime icecream (the reviews of which ranged from “oh it’s alright” to “dear God it tastes like cough medicine) and Cleland getting groped by a homeless, toothless, predatory, gay man on the street.
At this point we were all feeling very much as though the past week in Miami had caught up with us, but stirfry ala Jez, Rocky IV, a few delicious Bud Lites and an hour spent watching “The 100 most unbelievable moments in sport” and we were ready to hit the town. We did so in fine style adhering to our new rule that we were only allowed to have one drink in each pub unless CENSORED. The first few bars we went to were largely uneventful and occupied primarily by real talk. However, once we got a couple of suicides under our belt, the vetboys got out on the DF to rock out to the cubic shuffle and the night proper had begun. We watched some pretty cool live music, did some stupid shots and soon we were invited en masse back to a party at a house with a Jacuzzi. At this point it was approximately 3:30. Gotta hate those Aussie accents. The rest of the night is something of a blur for all of us, though none more so than buzz who decided that a series of impromptu naps was appropriate. We eventually made it back to our motel at about 6:30, though we did stop to chase the crowing roosters on our way home. It was at this point that we realised that Cleland was nowhere to be found. We retraced our steps to try and find him but our efforts were to no avail. We would later find out that he was asleep on a pile of palm fronds on the side of the road. All plans of going snorkelling or jetskiing in the morning had officially been binned.
My body hates me,
Jez
Key West is the southernmost town in the US and can only be reached by driving through Florida Keys – which is basically a sequence of small islands which are linked by bridges. If you’ve seen True Lies or Mission: Impossible 3 then you know the bridges I’m talking about – the ones that are really really long, surrounded by pristine turquoise water and, if Hollywood is to be believed, continually being attacked by Harrier Jets.
With this in mind we were quite looking forward to the drive, despite our sore heads and severe collective sleep deprivation. Unfortunately, though the scenery and the bridges were as spectacular as expected, the traffic was awful and what Emily told us would be a three hour drive took most of the day. However, the drive was redeemed somewhat by the level of conversation which started out relatively dignified with real talk and ended up well below gutter.
Upon arrival in Key West, which is a renowned party town, notorious for its flamboyant gay community, we checked into our motel and went for a wander – in search of some groceries. The two highlights of this were trying some authentic Key Lime icecream (the reviews of which ranged from “oh it’s alright” to “dear God it tastes like cough medicine) and Cleland getting groped by a homeless, toothless, predatory, gay man on the street.
At this point we were all feeling very much as though the past week in Miami had caught up with us, but stirfry ala Jez, Rocky IV, a few delicious Bud Lites and an hour spent watching “The 100 most unbelievable moments in sport” and we were ready to hit the town. We did so in fine style adhering to our new rule that we were only allowed to have one drink in each pub unless CENSORED. The first few bars we went to were largely uneventful and occupied primarily by real talk. However, once we got a couple of suicides under our belt, the vetboys got out on the DF to rock out to the cubic shuffle and the night proper had begun. We watched some pretty cool live music, did some stupid shots and soon we were invited en masse back to a party at a house with a Jacuzzi. At this point it was approximately 3:30. Gotta hate those Aussie accents. The rest of the night is something of a blur for all of us, though none more so than buzz who decided that a series of impromptu naps was appropriate. We eventually made it back to our motel at about 6:30, though we did stop to chase the crowing roosters on our way home. It was at this point that we realised that Cleland was nowhere to be found. We retraced our steps to try and find him but our efforts were to no avail. We would later find out that he was asleep on a pile of palm fronds on the side of the road. All plans of going snorkelling or jetskiing in the morning had officially been binned.
My body hates me,
Jez
New Year's Day
Greetings Trailblaze enthusiasts! As a fellow blog reader over the past 6 weeks, I have been eagerly anticipating getting involved with the boys. So far, Miami has not disappointed!
New Years was a memorable one and a number of us were battling heavy heads to kick start 2009, but that was soon fixed by a quick swim and lunch at TGI Friday’s. Before hitting the sand I debated whether to wear my AUSTRALIA speedos, but soon felt at ease when I saw Jez had no problems walking around in public with his outrageous hair.
After a thorough summary of the previous nights exploits, Cleland and Jez decided an afternoon kip would best prepare them for the fun to come. Carl, Wonders and I went the other way, meeting a couple of my American mates from college and following them down a long and windy road to what they promised would be “a good scene.” What a massive understatement!
Hot tip#1: the pool at Shore Club is phenomenal. After producing our Aussie passports and walking through the gates, we were soon embraced by a wide array of really, really, really good looking people. The pool was about 25 metres long, surrounded by beds and couches, absolutely chock-a-block with scantily clad women. Tough times! A deejay made sure the vibe was right, the Heinekens ensured our thirst was quenched, and the sunnies ensured our stares were hidden. Good fun – even Busta Rimes came round for a bevvie!
A late afternoon shower and multiple calls from a now raging Jez and Cleland brought things to a blinding halt, so we decided to say goodbye to the models and made our way back to the hostel, referenced only as “a cool place down the road” to the high end revellers at poolside.
Multiple cases of America’s finest seemed to cheer the boys up and soon enough we were soon back on the wagon in preparation for another big night.
Hot tip #2: The bar at the Delano Hotel is every bit as cool as we had been told, and then some. Talk about opulence! Nothing is done in small measures at the Delano, and it didn’t take long for any of us to begin sampling the cocktail menu and mingle amongst the lively crowd.
What came next was even more outrageous than the setting – a ridiculously elaborate thirty minute tall story from Jez about his javelin exploits for the Australian track and field team at the Beijing Olympics! “Trajectory, wind tunnels, release point, rotational core strength”… nothing was spared! The poor girls fell hook line and sinker for his utter jibberish, and will now return to Cincinatti with tales of fortune and fame after meeting one of Down Under’s finest athletes.
Hot tip #3: Mango’s Bar on Ocean Drive is not a good idea when you have been actively participating in the Miami party scene for days on end. As the night wound down, one by one we retreated back to the hotel, some faster than others. Fortunately, Carl was around long enough to wake me up and call it quits .
Next stop, Key West. Until then,
Dave
New Years was a memorable one and a number of us were battling heavy heads to kick start 2009, but that was soon fixed by a quick swim and lunch at TGI Friday’s. Before hitting the sand I debated whether to wear my AUSTRALIA speedos, but soon felt at ease when I saw Jez had no problems walking around in public with his outrageous hair.
After a thorough summary of the previous nights exploits, Cleland and Jez decided an afternoon kip would best prepare them for the fun to come. Carl, Wonders and I went the other way, meeting a couple of my American mates from college and following them down a long and windy road to what they promised would be “a good scene.” What a massive understatement!
Hot tip#1: the pool at Shore Club is phenomenal. After producing our Aussie passports and walking through the gates, we were soon embraced by a wide array of really, really, really good looking people. The pool was about 25 metres long, surrounded by beds and couches, absolutely chock-a-block with scantily clad women. Tough times! A deejay made sure the vibe was right, the Heinekens ensured our thirst was quenched, and the sunnies ensured our stares were hidden. Good fun – even Busta Rimes came round for a bevvie!
A late afternoon shower and multiple calls from a now raging Jez and Cleland brought things to a blinding halt, so we decided to say goodbye to the models and made our way back to the hostel, referenced only as “a cool place down the road” to the high end revellers at poolside.
Multiple cases of America’s finest seemed to cheer the boys up and soon enough we were soon back on the wagon in preparation for another big night.
Hot tip #2: The bar at the Delano Hotel is every bit as cool as we had been told, and then some. Talk about opulence! Nothing is done in small measures at the Delano, and it didn’t take long for any of us to begin sampling the cocktail menu and mingle amongst the lively crowd.
What came next was even more outrageous than the setting – a ridiculously elaborate thirty minute tall story from Jez about his javelin exploits for the Australian track and field team at the Beijing Olympics! “Trajectory, wind tunnels, release point, rotational core strength”… nothing was spared! The poor girls fell hook line and sinker for his utter jibberish, and will now return to Cincinatti with tales of fortune and fame after meeting one of Down Under’s finest athletes.
Hot tip #3: Mango’s Bar on Ocean Drive is not a good idea when you have been actively participating in the Miami party scene for days on end. As the night wound down, one by one we retreated back to the hotel, some faster than others. Fortunately, Carl was around long enough to wake me up and call it quits .
Next stop, Key West. Until then,
Dave
New Year's Eve 2009: South Beach, Miami
Rising on New Year’s Eve, the boys were eager and excited for the night that waited in Miami. The day was one in which we could reflect on the past year and think about resolutions for 2009. These included getting fit, eating healthily and drinking less. Needless to say these were all immediately delayed for at least another month. It was also the day we welcomed our 5th celebrity roadtripper and our 9th overall – Mr David Prentice. Preno is a great mate of mine from Pius days, he now lives in New York and would be joining us for the next four days, as always it was good to see him again. While I battled the new year’s traffic to get to the airport, the boys hit the beach. There, Nick, Monty and Jez caught some rays and Wonders strutted his budgie smuggler/earring combo.
Meeting back at the hostel, and after a brief reintroduction, Preno and I headed to the beach, while the other boys commenced the day’s drinking over a game of cards. Upon our return, we found ourselves already surprisingly behind in the drinking stakes. New Years’ was looming to be large.
We went for a walk along Ocean Drive, which had now been completely reserved for pedestrians and had a feed and a beer at one of the many bars / restaurants. Our waitress was a young redhead who we suspected was from the UK. Wonders being the friendly socialite that he is, soon enquired to where exactly her accent was from, this was met with a surprised look and the response that she was born and raised in Seattle. Wonders probed further convinced that she must have an English parent. The reply to this was the she had formerly had a speech impediment and had undergone 5 years of speech pathology. As soon as she left earshot Wonders could be heard to say “well don’t I feel like a dickhead”. Great bloke. He was now displaying the attitude to match the earring.
We then planned the evening, which consisted of buying supplies for the night (ie alcohol) and deciding that the beach was our preferred way to spend New Years opposed to a club. The $200 party at Mansion, featuring Lindsay Lohan, did not seem good value given the battered states of our bank accounts and Cleland’s reconnaissance from the night before. We then went back to the hostel where we drank with our newly made friends and had the hostel supplied beans on rice with chicken for the second night in a row. Unfortunately Preno was unable to sample the dinner instead deciding to decorate the court yard with it, in a crowd silencing fall.
By 9, the group had swelled to consist of approximately 20 people representing 10 different nationalities*. Up to 11, amongst various banter and chat, various drinking games were played including “dance locomotion” and “Zumi Zumi”. At 11, we decided to get out and amongst the Miami crowd for New Years. Throughout South Beach (along Collins, Ocean Drive and the beach), the atmosphere was musical, vibrant and busy. This included organised fireworks on the beach, self-organised parties on the streets and long night club ques. Whilst enjoying the atmosphere, 12 o’clock quickly snuck upon us and the fireworks started to explode overhead. While wishing everyone Happy New Years we suddenly noticed that Jez was missing a mystery that would not be solved until several hours later.
The night continued with all of us spread between local bars, staying put on the beach and attempting to get into different night clubs. I am not sure how but it ended with us all recounting the nights stories in front of the hostel around 4 a.m. This included Monty deciding to decorate the hostel room with a pot plant and go swimming and Cleland losing his socks. Even Jez reappeared and informed us of his amazing night in which he made many new friends and extended his list of available accommodation in Europe. At this point we all went to bed agreeing it had been a great night.
Wishing you all the best for 2009
Carl
*Real talk: I soon found out that they also play “the game of life” ie push-ups for saying MINE, in Zimbabwe and South Africa. I learned this the hard way as one of the Zimbabwean blokes asked what the seagulls were saying in the movie “Finding Nemo”. My response of “mine, mine, mine, mine” resulted in 40 punishing and embarrassing push-ups.
Meeting back at the hostel, and after a brief reintroduction, Preno and I headed to the beach, while the other boys commenced the day’s drinking over a game of cards. Upon our return, we found ourselves already surprisingly behind in the drinking stakes. New Years’ was looming to be large.
We went for a walk along Ocean Drive, which had now been completely reserved for pedestrians and had a feed and a beer at one of the many bars / restaurants. Our waitress was a young redhead who we suspected was from the UK. Wonders being the friendly socialite that he is, soon enquired to where exactly her accent was from, this was met with a surprised look and the response that she was born and raised in Seattle. Wonders probed further convinced that she must have an English parent. The reply to this was the she had formerly had a speech impediment and had undergone 5 years of speech pathology. As soon as she left earshot Wonders could be heard to say “well don’t I feel like a dickhead”. Great bloke. He was now displaying the attitude to match the earring.
We then planned the evening, which consisted of buying supplies for the night (ie alcohol) and deciding that the beach was our preferred way to spend New Years opposed to a club. The $200 party at Mansion, featuring Lindsay Lohan, did not seem good value given the battered states of our bank accounts and Cleland’s reconnaissance from the night before. We then went back to the hostel where we drank with our newly made friends and had the hostel supplied beans on rice with chicken for the second night in a row. Unfortunately Preno was unable to sample the dinner instead deciding to decorate the court yard with it, in a crowd silencing fall.
By 9, the group had swelled to consist of approximately 20 people representing 10 different nationalities*. Up to 11, amongst various banter and chat, various drinking games were played including “dance locomotion” and “Zumi Zumi”. At 11, we decided to get out and amongst the Miami crowd for New Years. Throughout South Beach (along Collins, Ocean Drive and the beach), the atmosphere was musical, vibrant and busy. This included organised fireworks on the beach, self-organised parties on the streets and long night club ques. Whilst enjoying the atmosphere, 12 o’clock quickly snuck upon us and the fireworks started to explode overhead. While wishing everyone Happy New Years we suddenly noticed that Jez was missing a mystery that would not be solved until several hours later.
The night continued with all of us spread between local bars, staying put on the beach and attempting to get into different night clubs. I am not sure how but it ended with us all recounting the nights stories in front of the hostel around 4 a.m. This included Monty deciding to decorate the hostel room with a pot plant and go swimming and Cleland losing his socks. Even Jez reappeared and informed us of his amazing night in which he made many new friends and extended his list of available accommodation in Europe. At this point we all went to bed agreeing it had been a great night.
Wishing you all the best for 2009
Carl
*Real talk: I soon found out that they also play “the game of life” ie push-ups for saying MINE, in Zimbabwe and South Africa. I learned this the hard way as one of the Zimbabwean blokes asked what the seagulls were saying in the movie “Finding Nemo”. My response of “mine, mine, mine, mine” resulted in 40 punishing and embarrassing push-ups.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Tampa to Miami
Despite the promises of the night before, we failed to get up at 8 and, as has become standard, it took us an inordinate amount of time to get out the door. Once we did finally manage to do so, it was decided that there would be minimal stops so that we could get to Miami asap. But first, in a belated attempt to apologise to our bodies for the punishment that they had received as part of the McDonald’s Day festivities we stopped at a supermarket to load up on fresh fruit, vitamins and Gatorade.
We were soon back on the road and so keen was Carl to get to Miami as quickly as possible he decided not to pay one of the tolls but instead to cruise through the “Sunpass Only” booth. It is not at all clear why he did this. However, we did make good time and arrived in Miami at around 3:30. What happened next was an absolute shambles. We arrived at the hostel keen to book in only to find perhaps the world’s most flustered man behind the reception desk and about 20 other people in the same position as us. It seems that the hostel is relatively new and the systems that they had in place were woefully insufficient for the volume of people that were arriving to spend New Year’s Eve in South Beach. After initially having been sent to a room that had people in it, we were eventually shown to the right room, by which time a good two hours had passed since our arrival and we were all pretty fed up with it.
Given that it was too late for a swim, we wandered along the beach for a while and had a stroll along Ocean Drive* and around South Beach. It was almost exactly the same as the stereotypes would suggest, with lots of tanned beach bodies, heaps of art deco architecture, drag queens busking out the front of bars, other pubs populated by people singing and dancing on the bars, and lots and lots of people rollerblading around wearing minimal clothing. Also, strangely enough, the beach itself had big sections where there was only a couple of inches of sand with concrete slabs underneath. Having gauged the lie of the land we bought beers and headed back to the hostel to play cards and start drinking.
We did this for a couple of hours and chatted to a bunch of random people in the hostel, most of whom seemed to be either Scandinavian or Australian. Whilst the rest of us were being sociable, Dr Wonderboy was working on his image. Deciding that Miami was the perfect place to show his intimidating side, he retired to our dorm room and using our recently purchased ditrcheap Vodka as an antiseptic and ice to prevent bloodflow, proceed to pierce his ear. The result was a sparkling success – he now looked much more “threatening” and somewhat less friendly. This achieved, we headed out on the town
It was an odd sort of a night. We went to a number of different bars, got offered copious amounts of drugs, Cleland managed to sneak into South Beach’s swankiest nightclub without waiting in line or paying a cent, Wonders and I played Connect 4 (literally – I’m talking about the boardgame) at about 2 in the morning at a nightclub and we all had massive slices of delicious pizza on the way home. We all eventually made it home, at some point between 3 and 5:30 and turned in for the evening – saving ourselves somewhat for New Years the next night.
Over and out
Jez
We were soon back on the road and so keen was Carl to get to Miami as quickly as possible he decided not to pay one of the tolls but instead to cruise through the “Sunpass Only” booth. It is not at all clear why he did this. However, we did make good time and arrived in Miami at around 3:30. What happened next was an absolute shambles. We arrived at the hostel keen to book in only to find perhaps the world’s most flustered man behind the reception desk and about 20 other people in the same position as us. It seems that the hostel is relatively new and the systems that they had in place were woefully insufficient for the volume of people that were arriving to spend New Year’s Eve in South Beach. After initially having been sent to a room that had people in it, we were eventually shown to the right room, by which time a good two hours had passed since our arrival and we were all pretty fed up with it.
Given that it was too late for a swim, we wandered along the beach for a while and had a stroll along Ocean Drive* and around South Beach. It was almost exactly the same as the stereotypes would suggest, with lots of tanned beach bodies, heaps of art deco architecture, drag queens busking out the front of bars, other pubs populated by people singing and dancing on the bars, and lots and lots of people rollerblading around wearing minimal clothing. Also, strangely enough, the beach itself had big sections where there was only a couple of inches of sand with concrete slabs underneath. Having gauged the lie of the land we bought beers and headed back to the hostel to play cards and start drinking.
We did this for a couple of hours and chatted to a bunch of random people in the hostel, most of whom seemed to be either Scandinavian or Australian. Whilst the rest of us were being sociable, Dr Wonderboy was working on his image. Deciding that Miami was the perfect place to show his intimidating side, he retired to our dorm room and using our recently purchased ditrcheap Vodka as an antiseptic and ice to prevent bloodflow, proceed to pierce his ear. The result was a sparkling success – he now looked much more “threatening” and somewhat less friendly. This achieved, we headed out on the town
It was an odd sort of a night. We went to a number of different bars, got offered copious amounts of drugs, Cleland managed to sneak into South Beach’s swankiest nightclub without waiting in line or paying a cent, Wonders and I played Connect 4 (literally – I’m talking about the boardgame) at about 2 in the morning at a nightclub and we all had massive slices of delicious pizza on the way home. We all eventually made it home, at some point between 3 and 5:30 and turned in for the evening – saving ourselves somewhat for New Years the next night.
Over and out
Jez
Panama City Beach to Tampa aka McDonald's Day
We awoke in a cold sweat, nauseous and trembling after a restless night’s sleep. The previous night we had deprived our body of the magical sleeping potion called alcohol. We will be smart enough not to do this again.
The day started as usual; late, without breakfast and to a symphony of Jez’s bowel movements. We headed straight to the beach keen to work on the speedo tan. After a quick dip we were on the road. What happened next will remain in road tip folklore for ever.
Carl had a few days previously announced that it would be a smart idea to invent McDonalds day but we had decided to hold off ‘til Monteath joined us. The day would involve driving from point a to point b, stopping at every McDonalds we saw or saw advertised which turned out to be 10. Once at McDonalds everyone had to order one different item. In addition to this all of the rubbish and packaging from the McDonalds had to remain in the car. Rubbish was allowed to be thrown, but only once after which it had to remain where it fell. It is important that the readers of this blog know that the author was against the idea thinking it was a waste of time, money and life expectancy.
The following items where consumed over the next 9 hours
3 White coffees, 3 double stacker cheese burgers, 2 chicken wrap snackers, 4 side salads, 3 small cokes, small chips, 3 country McChickens, 4bottled water, 3 apple juice, 3 Med fries, big mac, quarter pounder, cheese burger, 16 chicken nuggets, 9 chicken strips, 100mls Paul Newmans ranch dressing, med coke, 3 apple pies, chocolate sundae, fruit box, Oreo macflurry, chocolate milk, 5 McRibs.
Needless to say after 10 hours on the road the car floor closely resembled the way our bodies felt. We estimated that each of us consumed close to 6000 calories, or three days worth of food. There are a number of events from the day that deserve further mention. At Mcdonalds number 5 I went to the bathroom and asked carl to order me a side salad with no dressing. Needless to say the salad came with 100mls of paul newmans ranch dressing (still in the packet) that I was required to drink having already eaten my salad. It was decided that I would be allowed to order for Carl next. I ordered him a Crispy Chicken strip floating in 300mls of Mcdonalds BBQ sauce.
The other event was the final Mcdonalds stop of the day where we each had a Mcdonalds Mcrib. The Mcrib is processed ground pork set into the shape of four ribs including the bones, which is then drowned in BBQ sauce. Monty got down two bites and asked us to pull over, he fell out of the car followed by waist deep mcdonalds wrappers. Monty scrambled to his knees before throwing up $40 (US) of Mcdonalds. Upon seeing this Cleland and Carl jumped from the car and lost their lunches’.
Once back in the car Mcdonalds day was called off and we continued to make our way to Tampa. We checked into Motel 6 and after chilling out for a while we made our way into Tampa downtown. There we went to a number of bars and listened to some live music. When 11pm came around we were informed that happy hour was starting and the beers were the princely sum of $1. Things escaladed quickly. Before long we had gained the attention of a group of born again Christians. Attracted to us by our accents and the thick smell of sin they were keen to show us the path. Cleland had other ideas. By the end of the night, we could all be found in coyote ugly dancing on the bar and doing body shots. Another victory for roadtrip USA and another great random night.
Nick
The day started as usual; late, without breakfast and to a symphony of Jez’s bowel movements. We headed straight to the beach keen to work on the speedo tan. After a quick dip we were on the road. What happened next will remain in road tip folklore for ever.
Carl had a few days previously announced that it would be a smart idea to invent McDonalds day but we had decided to hold off ‘til Monteath joined us. The day would involve driving from point a to point b, stopping at every McDonalds we saw or saw advertised which turned out to be 10. Once at McDonalds everyone had to order one different item. In addition to this all of the rubbish and packaging from the McDonalds had to remain in the car. Rubbish was allowed to be thrown, but only once after which it had to remain where it fell. It is important that the readers of this blog know that the author was against the idea thinking it was a waste of time, money and life expectancy.
The following items where consumed over the next 9 hours
3 White coffees, 3 double stacker cheese burgers, 2 chicken wrap snackers, 4 side salads, 3 small cokes, small chips, 3 country McChickens, 4bottled water, 3 apple juice, 3 Med fries, big mac, quarter pounder, cheese burger, 16 chicken nuggets, 9 chicken strips, 100mls Paul Newmans ranch dressing, med coke, 3 apple pies, chocolate sundae, fruit box, Oreo macflurry, chocolate milk, 5 McRibs.
Needless to say after 10 hours on the road the car floor closely resembled the way our bodies felt. We estimated that each of us consumed close to 6000 calories, or three days worth of food. There are a number of events from the day that deserve further mention. At Mcdonalds number 5 I went to the bathroom and asked carl to order me a side salad with no dressing. Needless to say the salad came with 100mls of paul newmans ranch dressing (still in the packet) that I was required to drink having already eaten my salad. It was decided that I would be allowed to order for Carl next. I ordered him a Crispy Chicken strip floating in 300mls of Mcdonalds BBQ sauce.
The other event was the final Mcdonalds stop of the day where we each had a Mcdonalds Mcrib. The Mcrib is processed ground pork set into the shape of four ribs including the bones, which is then drowned in BBQ sauce. Monty got down two bites and asked us to pull over, he fell out of the car followed by waist deep mcdonalds wrappers. Monty scrambled to his knees before throwing up $40 (US) of Mcdonalds. Upon seeing this Cleland and Carl jumped from the car and lost their lunches’.
Once back in the car Mcdonalds day was called off and we continued to make our way to Tampa. We checked into Motel 6 and after chilling out for a while we made our way into Tampa downtown. There we went to a number of bars and listened to some live music. When 11pm came around we were informed that happy hour was starting and the beers were the princely sum of $1. Things escaladed quickly. Before long we had gained the attention of a group of born again Christians. Attracted to us by our accents and the thick smell of sin they were keen to show us the path. Cleland had other ideas. By the end of the night, we could all be found in coyote ugly dancing on the bar and doing body shots. Another victory for roadtrip USA and another great random night.
Nick
Atlanta to Panama City Beach
Rising at 11:30, we were all in a hurry to pack our bags and meet the midday check-out time. With half the day gone, we decided to fast-track it to Panama City Beach which is renowned as the ultimate Spring Break town. Firstly however, we had to detour to Atlanta Airport to pick up Monty’s (Dr Phil PhD) suitcase so that he could change clothes for the first time in 3 days.
We then hightailed it towards Panama City Beach which was a largely uneventful trip. The only thing it was really notable for was the continual complaining of “day Carl” who was generally a sad-sack and Jez’s refusal to sit in the middle seat for more than 10 minutes at a time. He claims that it has a curvature which does not suit the contours of his bucket. We arrived at around 7, in the heart of the ”Redneck Riviera”, and were on the lookout for hooligans and party shenanigans but were disappointed to find what could best be described as a ghost town. The hotel in which we were meant to stay was completely empty, our booking (and the credit card details we had provided) were lost and we were forced to pay an additional $30. But we did get a waterfront view and given there were 5 of us in the one room it was still pretty cheap. At this point, Monty and day Carl had a nap while Cleland and Wonders watched football and Jez finally shaved off his seedy goatee.
Deciding it was dinner time, we loaded into the trailblazer and went looking for BBQ. At this point, Wonders was distracted by Hooters. Insisting that we go, we reluctantly agreed. He was keen for chicken wings. Their white, fleshy, chickeny wingy promise was calling him. Unfortunately, they were bony, tough, lacked meat and were dripping in sweet sweet hot sauce – much like the bar-staff. Oh the puns. Dictation off*.
Dictation back on. On arriving back at the motel we played the obligatory couple of hours of BB while Monty slept. At this point, Wonders made a ridiculous bet with Cleland regarding the movie Castaway. What followed shall never be spoken about again.
‘Til next time
The boys on the road.
*Note: this whole blog has been dictated whilst in the car en route to Miami, which explains its ridiculousness somewhat.
We then hightailed it towards Panama City Beach which was a largely uneventful trip. The only thing it was really notable for was the continual complaining of “day Carl” who was generally a sad-sack and Jez’s refusal to sit in the middle seat for more than 10 minutes at a time. He claims that it has a curvature which does not suit the contours of his bucket. We arrived at around 7, in the heart of the ”Redneck Riviera”, and were on the lookout for hooligans and party shenanigans but were disappointed to find what could best be described as a ghost town. The hotel in which we were meant to stay was completely empty, our booking (and the credit card details we had provided) were lost and we were forced to pay an additional $30. But we did get a waterfront view and given there were 5 of us in the one room it was still pretty cheap. At this point, Monty and day Carl had a nap while Cleland and Wonders watched football and Jez finally shaved off his seedy goatee.
Deciding it was dinner time, we loaded into the trailblazer and went looking for BBQ. At this point, Wonders was distracted by Hooters. Insisting that we go, we reluctantly agreed. He was keen for chicken wings. Their white, fleshy, chickeny wingy promise was calling him. Unfortunately, they were bony, tough, lacked meat and were dripping in sweet sweet hot sauce – much like the bar-staff. Oh the puns. Dictation off*.
Dictation back on. On arriving back at the motel we played the obligatory couple of hours of BB while Monty slept. At this point, Wonders made a ridiculous bet with Cleland regarding the movie Castaway. What followed shall never be spoken about again.
‘Til next time
The boys on the road.
*Note: this whole blog has been dictated whilst in the car en route to Miami, which explains its ridiculousness somewhat.
Atlanta Day 2
Gday Folks, Monty here. Long time reader, first time blogger.
Before I get started on my virgin blog, I thought I would give you all a synopsis of my journey from Europe (where I was with the family) to the good ole US of A.
It started at the ungodly hour of 5am Rome time when I had to be out the door to meet the waiting taxi to take me to the airport. This was the morning after Christmas, and when I hopped in the taxi I had a thought that I might not actually make it to Da Vinci Airport. This was because the taxi driver was still not entirely sober, judging from the smell of ethanol that was protruding my nostrils.
But I made it to the airport in one piece and before I knew it I was off to Madrid.
Unfortunately the flight took longer than expected and I had to really hustle to make my connecting flight. Having spent the last 3 weeks sampling Europe’s finest cuisine and beverages, I was definitely not in peak physical condition. And from what the airport signs were telling me, had to cover a 35 min journey to the other side of the airport in about 15 mins. Thankfully I was able to get my arse into gear and made it to my gate. After some sweet talking to the gate agent, I was able to make it onto the plane as the last passenger.
9 hours later I landed in Chicago, and that’s when things started to get interesting. Although I was told in Rome when I checked in that I would only need to collect my bags in Atlanta, USA law stipulates that all bags had to be collected and put by US Customs. Eager not to step out of line in the US, I dutifully waited by my baggage claim terminal. After 10 mins I was resigned to the fact that my bag obviously wasn’t as quick as me in Madrid and hadn’t made it onto the connecting flight.
As I was walking out of baggage claim, I was informed that my flight to Atlanta was cancelled and that I had to be rebooked. So I went and booked myself on another flight at 7:30pm Chicago time. At this stage it was 4:30pm Chicago time so I had a bit of time to kill. This was accomplished by trying to get the ball rolling on finding my luggage. I went to the American Airline check in counter and after approximately a 1 and a half hour wait in the queue was finally talking to a representative. However this proved to be a false dawn as I was told that I could only start tracking it down when I was at my last location, aka Atlanta. No exceptions, don’t even think about it mister, how dare you even suggest that it could be done in Chicago, you must be retarded.
At this stage in my quickly declining day, I looked at the flight board and realised that my 7:30pm flight had been delayed to 9pm. No biggie. To try and give myself a pick-me-up I decided to attack the closest airport Macca’s (and, yes, there was more than one there). I ordered a large Big Mac meal, halfway through the bad boy I regretted my decision. I couldn’t finish the big guy and had to throw away half my chips.
At about 9pm we all lined up to get ready to hop aboard the plane……..only to be told that it was cancelled and that we all had to rebook, again.
Everyone rushed to the rebooking desk. I was about a quarter of the way up to the front and it took me a good 2 hours to get to the front of the line. I got some stand bys for the next day and went to sleep in fold out beds provided by the airport set up near gate K1.
In retro Batman voice…..(Meanwhile, in Atlanta)
The day began as almost all have done recently – late, hungover and with a thorough recount of the previous night’s events. We then decided to get out and see the sights of Atlanta. But first we had to bid farewell to Dana: dropping him at the safe-as-houses-looking Greyhound Bus Depot, saying our goodbyes and quietly praying that he would board his bus without getting mugged and arrive in Knoxville without being decapitated.
It was at this point that the day took a turn for the worse. The navigational / driving combination of tweedledum (Wonders) and Tweedleidiot (Carl) saw us drive aimlessly around Atlanta for about 2 hours, in which time we had lunch at the renowned but disappointing “Varsity” and Tweedledum bizarrely asked for directions at Hooters, despite there being an information centre across the road. We did eventually manage to find Atlantic Station where after some brazen work from Cleland we skipped the half hour long line and got a discount into the BodyWorks exhibition. Really interesting, but certainly not the best for the raging hangovers that we were sporting.
By this stage it was time to go and get Monty from the airport which we proceeded to do, allowing him to take over the storytelling from this point….
…. But Monty had too much fun over the following days to complete the rest of the blog so the rest of the story is going to have to wait until he gets around to writing it.
Watch this space
Before I get started on my virgin blog, I thought I would give you all a synopsis of my journey from Europe (where I was with the family) to the good ole US of A.
It started at the ungodly hour of 5am Rome time when I had to be out the door to meet the waiting taxi to take me to the airport. This was the morning after Christmas, and when I hopped in the taxi I had a thought that I might not actually make it to Da Vinci Airport. This was because the taxi driver was still not entirely sober, judging from the smell of ethanol that was protruding my nostrils.
But I made it to the airport in one piece and before I knew it I was off to Madrid.
Unfortunately the flight took longer than expected and I had to really hustle to make my connecting flight. Having spent the last 3 weeks sampling Europe’s finest cuisine and beverages, I was definitely not in peak physical condition. And from what the airport signs were telling me, had to cover a 35 min journey to the other side of the airport in about 15 mins. Thankfully I was able to get my arse into gear and made it to my gate. After some sweet talking to the gate agent, I was able to make it onto the plane as the last passenger.
9 hours later I landed in Chicago, and that’s when things started to get interesting. Although I was told in Rome when I checked in that I would only need to collect my bags in Atlanta, USA law stipulates that all bags had to be collected and put by US Customs. Eager not to step out of line in the US, I dutifully waited by my baggage claim terminal. After 10 mins I was resigned to the fact that my bag obviously wasn’t as quick as me in Madrid and hadn’t made it onto the connecting flight.
As I was walking out of baggage claim, I was informed that my flight to Atlanta was cancelled and that I had to be rebooked. So I went and booked myself on another flight at 7:30pm Chicago time. At this stage it was 4:30pm Chicago time so I had a bit of time to kill. This was accomplished by trying to get the ball rolling on finding my luggage. I went to the American Airline check in counter and after approximately a 1 and a half hour wait in the queue was finally talking to a representative. However this proved to be a false dawn as I was told that I could only start tracking it down when I was at my last location, aka Atlanta. No exceptions, don’t even think about it mister, how dare you even suggest that it could be done in Chicago, you must be retarded.
At this stage in my quickly declining day, I looked at the flight board and realised that my 7:30pm flight had been delayed to 9pm. No biggie. To try and give myself a pick-me-up I decided to attack the closest airport Macca’s (and, yes, there was more than one there). I ordered a large Big Mac meal, halfway through the bad boy I regretted my decision. I couldn’t finish the big guy and had to throw away half my chips.
At about 9pm we all lined up to get ready to hop aboard the plane……..only to be told that it was cancelled and that we all had to rebook, again.
Everyone rushed to the rebooking desk. I was about a quarter of the way up to the front and it took me a good 2 hours to get to the front of the line. I got some stand bys for the next day and went to sleep in fold out beds provided by the airport set up near gate K1.
In retro Batman voice…..(Meanwhile, in Atlanta)
The day began as almost all have done recently – late, hungover and with a thorough recount of the previous night’s events. We then decided to get out and see the sights of Atlanta. But first we had to bid farewell to Dana: dropping him at the safe-as-houses-looking Greyhound Bus Depot, saying our goodbyes and quietly praying that he would board his bus without getting mugged and arrive in Knoxville without being decapitated.
It was at this point that the day took a turn for the worse. The navigational / driving combination of tweedledum (Wonders) and Tweedleidiot (Carl) saw us drive aimlessly around Atlanta for about 2 hours, in which time we had lunch at the renowned but disappointing “Varsity” and Tweedledum bizarrely asked for directions at Hooters, despite there being an information centre across the road. We did eventually manage to find Atlantic Station where after some brazen work from Cleland we skipped the half hour long line and got a discount into the BodyWorks exhibition. Really interesting, but certainly not the best for the raging hangovers that we were sporting.
By this stage it was time to go and get Monty from the airport which we proceeded to do, allowing him to take over the storytelling from this point….
…. But Monty had too much fun over the following days to complete the rest of the blog so the rest of the story is going to have to wait until he gets around to writing it.
Watch this space
Boxing Day - Knoxville to Atlanta
Hi guys, Cleland/Buzz/Santa/Sick Boy/Joe/Nick/Hero here, doing my first blog after joining the boys in Nashville on the 23rd. My flight over wasn’t what you would wish for with international travel…. From Sydney to Taipei I sat next to a sick ten year old kid who had to use the sick bag 5 times in 10 hours. From Taipei to San Francisco I sat next to a Chinese man with absolutely no sense of personal space. Anyway…
We woke up on Boxing Day morning with the aim of getting on the road early to make our way south to Atlanta. This took a ridiculously long time because Dana decided that he wanted to go and look at a jacket that was on sale at an outdoor sports store and Carl was in the shower. Due to the unexpected late night playing poker on Christmas Day Wonders was elected designated driver. He had had the benefit of an extra three hours sleep because he had lost all of his money….three times.
The weather for the drive south was better than that to Nashville which meant the drive was not too bad. We stopped for lunch at Taco Bell where Dana educated us on the Mexican menu and Carl did push ups for saying MINE. The food was ok but it was a once only experience for me.
“Atlanta hosts 400 of the fortune 500 companies” That’s real talk!
We went straight into downtown Atlanta to have a look around and possibly have a look at the World of Coke before picking Monty up from the airport. At this point we got a call from Monty saying his flight had been cancelled and would be at least 4 hours late. We decided that we could go to the World of Coke which is pretty much a Coke museum. The tour was a mixture of company history, manufacturing information and ridiculous advertising presented in videos, 3D movies, speeches and displays. The tour of the facility ended with a taste testing of the Coca-Cola Company’s various products from around the world. At this point Marvin was thirsty and suggested that we should try every beverage that was on offer and it was decided that it would be rude not to. 48 different types of soft drink later we were all feeling sick and vindictive and punished Marvin by making him consume an entire glass of “Beverly”, an awful drink from Europe that literally tasted like arse.
From there we went to the hostel and booked in where we got another call from Monty telling us that his next flight had also been cancelled meaning that the earliest he would be in Atlanta would be 1am. Dana cooked us hamburgers and we drank beer while playing cards. We met this Zimbabwean bloke from London named Justin who had chased a girl to Atlanta to find out she had a boyfriend.
We met up with Justin at this Irish pub in Virginia Highlands and got ourselves a table. About an hour had passed and these two locals came over and sat down with us to say hello. One was a really friendly girl genuinely interested in what we had been up to but the other was quite the opposite. Jez had been at the bar and came back to the table and sat down and introduced himself…
Jez: Hi, how is it going?
Girl: I’m not going to have sex with you
Jez: OK…
Girl: You Australian men are like mosquitoes; you go from city to city sucking blood and spreading disease.
Jez: Riiight… I’ll see you later.
Monty called again and said that he wouldn’t be in ‘til the next day which was disappointing but we probably drank enough for all six of us. At some point we got separated and soon afterwards the pub shut down and everyone was kicked out. Not wanting to get a taxi, and thinking that home was not really that far away I decided to walk home. It was an interesting trip which got a little hairy when I was offered crack cocaine by a drug dealer on a random street corner. Needless to say I have learnt my lesson and will not be doing that again.
Over and out,
Nick
We woke up on Boxing Day morning with the aim of getting on the road early to make our way south to Atlanta. This took a ridiculously long time because Dana decided that he wanted to go and look at a jacket that was on sale at an outdoor sports store and Carl was in the shower. Due to the unexpected late night playing poker on Christmas Day Wonders was elected designated driver. He had had the benefit of an extra three hours sleep because he had lost all of his money….three times.
The weather for the drive south was better than that to Nashville which meant the drive was not too bad. We stopped for lunch at Taco Bell where Dana educated us on the Mexican menu and Carl did push ups for saying MINE. The food was ok but it was a once only experience for me.
“Atlanta hosts 400 of the fortune 500 companies” That’s real talk!
We went straight into downtown Atlanta to have a look around and possibly have a look at the World of Coke before picking Monty up from the airport. At this point we got a call from Monty saying his flight had been cancelled and would be at least 4 hours late. We decided that we could go to the World of Coke which is pretty much a Coke museum. The tour was a mixture of company history, manufacturing information and ridiculous advertising presented in videos, 3D movies, speeches and displays. The tour of the facility ended with a taste testing of the Coca-Cola Company’s various products from around the world. At this point Marvin was thirsty and suggested that we should try every beverage that was on offer and it was decided that it would be rude not to. 48 different types of soft drink later we were all feeling sick and vindictive and punished Marvin by making him consume an entire glass of “Beverly”, an awful drink from Europe that literally tasted like arse.
From there we went to the hostel and booked in where we got another call from Monty telling us that his next flight had also been cancelled meaning that the earliest he would be in Atlanta would be 1am. Dana cooked us hamburgers and we drank beer while playing cards. We met this Zimbabwean bloke from London named Justin who had chased a girl to Atlanta to find out she had a boyfriend.
We met up with Justin at this Irish pub in Virginia Highlands and got ourselves a table. About an hour had passed and these two locals came over and sat down with us to say hello. One was a really friendly girl genuinely interested in what we had been up to but the other was quite the opposite. Jez had been at the bar and came back to the table and sat down and introduced himself…
Jez: Hi, how is it going?
Girl: I’m not going to have sex with you
Jez: OK…
Girl: You Australian men are like mosquitoes; you go from city to city sucking blood and spreading disease.
Jez: Riiight… I’ll see you later.
Monty called again and said that he wouldn’t be in ‘til the next day which was disappointing but we probably drank enough for all six of us. At some point we got separated and soon afterwards the pub shut down and everyone was kicked out. Not wanting to get a taxi, and thinking that home was not really that far away I decided to walk home. It was an interesting trip which got a little hairy when I was offered crack cocaine by a drug dealer on a random street corner. Needless to say I have learnt my lesson and will not be doing that again.
Over and out,
Nick
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)